We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
