You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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