what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
