There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
