nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize