She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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