OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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