I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
