Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
