You smell like stripper and shame
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
