Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
