I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
