hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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