Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I did not marry a roomba.
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