idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize