You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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