Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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