WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
