turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
