So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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