I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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