Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
