my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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