Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
