Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
