we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
