if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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