Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm going to jail i love you
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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