Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
