I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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