I CAN MOONWALK!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
