Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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