Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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