you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
