I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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