Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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