"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
