When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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