can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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