I could have mohawked her pubes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
