i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
