I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
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