So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I stole a fireplace last night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
