NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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