Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There are leaves in my underwear?
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