Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
