Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
People with herpes should wear stickers.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
