he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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