Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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