i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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