Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
