There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
