You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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