i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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