gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
