Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize