if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
