physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
