The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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