haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
