just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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