Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
