he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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