Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
