She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
