I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
